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Once in a galaxy far abroad there were hieroglyphics, drums, Morse code. Again a actor phone. Again a desk-size punch phone. Again a cellphone. And ankle-length skirts became calf-length again knee-length, now diaper-length. The apple moves on.

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Long ago theaters showed bifold appearance additional account “Perils of Pauline” serials and betrayal dishes. That’s now as old-hat as an old hat. Today it’s 30-second commercials, alive and the latest candied spot? Documentaries.

A documentary is now’s swifter, cheaper way to augment the monster acclimatized to burning rice, mini-meals, quick fix, fast food, accelerated transit, takeout, Jiffy Lube. And to augment a acutely bottomless appetite, it’s a feet-up, behind-down, mouth-eating, stay-home pleasure.

Big-ticket blockbuster tent-pole movies — “Avatar,” “The Lion King,” “Toy Story,” “Star Trek,” “Star Wars” with brilliant names leaping and cutting and abolition can amount hundreds of millions to make. Documentaries? Not.

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We’ve had them on Pavarotti, Ferragamo, Koch, McQueen, Dr. Ruth, The Beatles — now me — and its producers are Ron Howard and Brian Grazer’s Imagine Entertainment, who created Oscar champ “A Beautiful Mind” and appointee “Frost/Nixon.” Remember their “Apollo 13”?

One on me — created this year, apparent abutting year — will be a four-part alternation on Showtime. Why it’s accepting fabricated — no idea. This is alone to explain that if you see me anywhere or at an aperture achieve trailed by a aggregation squinting into a camera — you will understand.

Last weekend Sen. Chuck Schumer spent an absolute day in Trump Tower. So far cipher knows why … Nick Jonas wore Nothing New men’s aerial acme at Flutter art arcade in LA. So far cipher knows why … Once aloft a TV -caster Bill Boggs has gone to the dogs. His new book “The Adventures of Spike the Wonder Dog” is about an English balderdash terrier TV personality with politically incorrect humor. So far cipher knows why. I alone apperceive Bill’s housebroken.

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Designer Joanna Mastroianni’s dressed Alicia Keys, Margot Robbie, Beyoncé, Sarah Jessica Parker, etc. Her affected clothes, strutted at awards, advertise at Bergdorf’s, Neiman’s, etc.

For a dog’s altogether 21 years ago, she advised couture allowance scarves address “Handmade” tags for four-legged friends. One — aloof now — showed up draped on a mannequin’s close as “floral book bizarre scarf” and — aloof now — appeared on the Real Real Web site.

The amount — aloof now — for this custom-built chargeless age-old dog shmatta — $75.

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Temp aristocratic Meghan’s name may go nowhere, but always aristocratic Diana’s name anon goes everywhere. To cheep the horns and exhausted the drums for Broadway’s soon-due agreeable “Diana,” about the activity of HRH Princess Di, her appearance (to be played by Jeanna de Waal) will cascade afternoon tea. This month. 4 p.m. At the Palace.

Sipping with Her affected Aristocratic Highness is the aboriginal bow and angle for the advancing musical. So, listen, draft the trumpets, eat the crumpets.

Mark Bego’s Elton John book “Rocket Man” hit the top-10 account … Jim Fragale’s new book’s “Sure-Fire, Infallible Solutions for Living: The Answers to Life” … Michael Longoria to sing his affair Feb. 11 at Birdland … Adam Sandler arena basketball at Equinox’s flagship sports club. Also afraid there: Drake, Shark Tanker Mark Cuban, Schwarzenegger — with a babysitter yet.

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About allegation burbler Adam Bullschiff: “A apostle who’ll accomplish you feel appropriate at home — and that’s area you’ll ambition you were back he starts to speak.”

Only in New York (and elsewhere), kids, alone in New York (and anywhere else).

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