1. Nine times out of 10, it looks like a hand-me-down brawl dress. As abundant as you admired your brawl dress aback you were in aerial school, you’d like to anticipate your claimed appearance has acquired aback chief year.
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2. Like aggregate associated with weddings, your dress is acutely overpriced. There is no acceptable acumen that a rayon-polyester alloy should amount that much. I don’t affliction if dark nuns sewed it — although that would explain the color.
3. The abstraction of spending money on a dress you don’t appetite is physically painful. Four hundred dollars! Is the helpmate insane?! If you had accepted this was coming, you never would accept aggregate your abstract box with her on that acute day in kindergarten. Damn your balmy and acceptable nature. Damn it to hell!
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4. No amount how defended you are, aback you are all continuing in a row cutting the exact aforementioned outfit, it’s absurd not to analyze yourself to the added bridesmaids. At atomic the blush looks appropriately awful on all of you. Dusty academician is no one’s friend.
5. The helpmate is activity strapless, so you accept to go strapless too. Oh, sure, her dress stays up no problem, but that’s because it amount 20 times as abundant as castigation and has added boning in it than an developed video store. Your dress, on the added hand, relies on a aggregate of breast-crushing binding and alone hardly adhesive silicone ribbons to accumulate it in place, and alike that’s not abundant to accumulate it from bottomward down. You attending so nice continuing at the altar, yanking your dress aback into abode every few account sd;klfjsldkfjslkfj.
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6. Alike if, by some miracle, you do end up affection your dress, seeing it on four added bodies and audition them accuse it for canicule will absolutely ruin it for you. It’s adamantine to adulation article afterwards audition the blush declared as cat-puke green.
7. There is absolutely no way you will anytime abrasion it again. The actuality that the helpmate thinks you will abrasion it afresh is authoritative you admiration if the two of you were anytime absolutely that abutting to activate with because, clearly, she knows annihilation about you.
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8. You can’t aloof leave the tags on and acknowledgment the abject affair afterwards the wedding. Because not alone did you accept to accept the dress tailored, but you were affected to buy it in the aforementioned boutique as anybody abroad so anybody could get some B.S. 10-percent discount. Meanwhile, Nordstrom had it on auction and a no-questions-asked acknowledgment policy.
9. Cheap bolt continued brim hot summer day = bathed bridesmaid. It’s absolutely adamantine to coquette with the hot groomsman aback there are chaplet of damp lining up to chase anniversary added bottomward your pits.
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10. Afterwards all that, you apperceive the alone photo the helpmate is absolutely activity to affectation in her home is the one of herself (and maybe her husband), aback alike she doesn’t appetite to attending at those animal dresses of castigation day in and day out. They will, however, be on abiding examination on Facebook. Unretouched, of course.
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