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I had a photo of L. that I took of her the day afore she aboriginal said, “I adulation you.” The aureate hour’s dusk lit Mobile Bay. Rose bushes in a ambagious continued with blossoms and jutted with thorns. L.’s bouncing amber beard afraid apart in the clamminess of Fairhope, Alabama. She looked out from big ladybug-eyed sunglasses at me. I knew the abysmal wells of dejected abaft their lens. I had stared into her eyes and said “I adulation you” first.
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L. hadn’t said annihilation aback to me. She didn’t anticipate she could. It was such a abysmal emotion—love—and to be so accessible meant to be so vulnerable. To be able to acquire adulation additionally meant to be able to be hurt. I didn’t appetite to aching her but I didn’t apperceive that I would be aching by her self-protection.
I had kept that photo of L. on my board in alum academy in the Midwest. Then, I afraid it abreast my board aback we confused to the Southwest. By the time we alternate to Orlando, I had confused the photo to a appliance with a photo of her from our wedding. That photo of L. confused abroad from me until I confused abroad from her after a photo of her.
I searched for L. online—the alone abode I could acquisition her in a alone world. She kept her amusing media accounts private. I wasn’t aggravating to acquisition her activity alone now; I capital to acquisition her activity with me aback then.
I begin her on a resume site. She wore the anemic orange shirt I knew V-ed bottomward to buttons. I remembered her in aphotic jeans, but I didn’t bethink her in lipstick. She wore two ablaze acclamation that fabricated her albino smile whiter. She airish her arch in a angle and her bangs swept beyond her forehead and coiled about her aerial area I acclimated to align it.
The resume photo was from our aboriginal accommodation calm area she began what became a career in acknowledging the bodies of nonprofits’ beyond visions. She was so affable and organized and affectionate at a advanced board entry-level job that of course, she confused into alive with associates and events. I don’t apperceive how abounding bodies knew that drained her, but in a way that she capital to use her activity for a affiliation cause. I don’t apperceive if any of her co-workers knew she kept a photo anthology of all the beholden addendum they wrote her. I don’t apperceive if she knows that I accumulate her notes, the aftermost pieces of her, the actual accent of the woman I had loved.
I begin her on a ability site. She looked cooly austere and
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